Saturday, January 23, 2010

Corporate Personhood, the sequel

Now that the Supremes have granted full, or nearly full, constitutionally protected personhood to corporations, publicly owned companies won't need SEC or other legal approval to merge. Just a marriage license from the local court house. We might expect other interesting fallout, too: 
"Nix the anti-trust and anti-collusion laws, because we, as the corporate members of the American Price-Fixing Institute, are simply exercising our right peaceably to assemble. Now get out of here, and close the door."
"Speaking for myself, I am innocent of all crimes related to the atrocities being investigated, but speaking as Unspeakable Weapons Corp. Inc., the company pleads the fifth and refuses to answer any more questions. Nyah-nyah!"
"As CEO of Racketeer and Extortionist Bank, I have no issue with legislation that places a ceiling on my compensation. However, the bank itself argues that placing limits on executive compensation constitutes cruel and unusual punishment."
"I am here to cast two ballots in this election, one on behalf of myself, and one on behalf of Frankenfood Bioswill Industries, Inc."